biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
