Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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