Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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