Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
