I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We got so high we made milksteak
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize