i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
