Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
did i just pee glitter
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
