She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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