I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Drake has all the answers
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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