i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
