Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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