I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
