her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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