found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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