covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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