You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
