All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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