just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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