No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
