I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
