i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize