So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
