I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
