Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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