he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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