I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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