he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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