Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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