eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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