He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
