you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
