this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
