Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize