I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
