We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
