So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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