Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
