Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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