so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my being single is dangerous.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
