What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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