Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
