This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
