Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
