i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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