kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
