Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
