normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
