i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we're making bets on your personal life
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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