i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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