just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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