Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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