She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
