____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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