The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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