Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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