woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
