PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
