In the future we'll all be gay
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
