I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
