That's intense
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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